Short Stories
by kittykatkaren97
Summary: Just a bunch of short stories I write. Mainly rewrites of well-known stories. T for character death.
1. Three Nerdy Pigs

**The Three Nerdy Pigs**

There were once three nerdy pigs who built houses in the woods to protect themselves from the wolf who tried to eat them. Bullet, the big, bad gangster wolf, was walking through the woods one day when he saw Porky's, the youngest of the three pigs, house, which was made of paper.

"Let me in, let me in, dawg!" Bullet yelled. "I wanna eat you, son!"

"Not by the plastic tape on the nose of my glasses!" Porky shouted back.

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house up!" Bullet pulled out a bomb.

"Oh snap!"

Bullet threw the bomb into the paper house, but porky managed to escape before it went off. Well, it shouldn't have been hard, since it _was_ a paper house.

Porky ran as fast as he could to Omelet's, the middle pigs, house, which was made out of rulers.

Bullet followed.

"Little piggies, little piggies, let me in, yo!" The wolf yelled.

"Not by the protractor in my left shirt pocket!" Omelet retorted.

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house up!" Bullet pulled out another bomb.

Porky and Omelet barely managed to escape in time. Seriously, they're just rulers. Just run through them. They ran to Hamlet's, the oldest pigs, house. Hamlet's house was made of textbooks.

Bullet followed. Really? What are you, Bullet, a stalker?

"Let me in, sons. You got nowhere else to run." The wolf said.

"Not by the juicy, succulent ham on my perfectly flabby body!" Hamlet replied.

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow-" Bullet broke off. "Man, out of bombs."

The nerdy pigs rejoiced.

But Bullet did not give up he climbed onto the roof and down the chimney. Okay, now I'm_ sure_ he's a stalker. The nerdy pigs got scared.

"You little piggies go nowhere else to run, dawgs. You might as well give up now, and die with dignity, homies." The very ticked off wolf said.

"Eat my protractor!" Omelet yelled before throwing his protractor at the ticked off stalker of a wolf. It cut his throat, and Bullet fell to the ground, life ebbing away.

"You just got owned! Nerd style!" Hamlet yelled in triumph.

The nerdy pigs then ate Bullet's lifeless corpse.

And they all lived happily ever after. Well, the three nerdy pigs did. I'm not so sure about Bullet…


	2. GangstaLocks

**Gangsta-Locks**

There were once three ridiculously rich bears that lived in a ridiculously huge mansion. One day, the bears went out to make negotiations with the local faraway bank.

Soon, a young girl with lock and chain accessories, named Gangsta-Locks, walked by and saw the mansion. Going up to it, she poked the door, which opened. "Aw, this be too easy." She said.

So she broke the window and got in that way.

"Now, what be in here?" She asked herself as she looked around. She walked through a few rooms, and finally got to the kitchen.

The kitchen had three refrigerators.

Gangsta-Locks opened the biggest one, only to find it filled with various exotic meats. "Naw, that ain't right. What else they got?"

She opened the medium sized fridge, which was full of fancy diet foods. "Oh, that be trippin'."

So she opened the smallest one, and found it full of her favorite foods. "Now this is tight, yo!"

After eating, Gangsta-Locks went on exploring until she found some shoes. The first pair she picked up was a pair of Nike's. "These be too big."

The next pair she picked up was a pair of stilettos. "These be too high."

The last pair of shoes was a pair of Vans, so she tried them on. "These just right!"

Gangsta-Locks went upstairs and saw three stereos. She turned on the first one and heavy metal poured out of the speakers. She scrambled to turn it off.

Then she turned on the next stereos and pop music started playing.

She turned it off before turning on the next one, which played rap music. She started jamming, but froze when she heard an irritated yell come from downstairs.

"OMG, someone touched my shoes!"

"Mine too!"

"Same here."

_Oh shoot,_ Gangsta-Locks thought.

"I hear something upstairs."

"Let's go check it out."

Gangsta-Locks heard footsteps, and three bears came into view: One big man bear, one small lady bear, and one little kid bear.

"Hey, you!" The biggest bear pointed accusingly at Gangsta-Locks. "What're you doin' in my house?"

"Now, don't do anything illegal, hun." The lady bear warned gently.

And, well, you know what happened next.

~0~0~

**A/N: Happy Christmas, Easter Bunny.**


	3. Happily Ever Afterlife

1

**A/N: An unfinished version of Gangsta-Locks, that I found on my mom's computer. [Yes, there are differences.]**

* * *

><p>Once upon a time, in the middle of nowhere, were three ridiculously bears who lived in a ridiculously huge house. One day, a girl named Gangsta-Locks, dressed in a hoodie with jeans and chain and lock accessories, was walking through the woods and saw the bears house, and no one was home.<p>

She went up and knocked on the door, and it opened. She debated with herself on whether or not to go inside, and decided to go in, but hesitated.

"Man, this be too easy!" she said. So she broke the nearest window and went in that way.

Inside, Gangta-Locks was amazed by all the stuff she saw. Everything was big and shiny and new, and she had never seen anything quite like it. Her stomach rumbled. She went to the kitchen and opened the biggest refrigerator. It was filled to the brim with fancy, exotic meats.

"Yuck, who actually eats that stuff?" she said in disgust. She opened the next refrigerator, which was filled with fruit, vegetables, and a bunch of diet and health food. "And that be a whole other story!'

Gangsta-Locks opened the last refrigerator. It was filled with more kid foods, such as tator tots. She grabbed some, heated them up in the microwave, and enjoyed her meal. Looking at her shoes, she realized they were in bad shape.

After she had finished her meal, she went in search of some shoes, and found three racks. She picked up the first pair, a pair of giant work boots, and dropped them. Next pair she picked up were a pair of stilettos, which she quickly rejected, saying, "I ain't be no priss or nothin' "

The third pair were a smaller pair of Vans, which actually fit her feet. she put them on and threw her old ones away. She yawned. "Man, I best be gettin' some sleep."

She went upstairs to find a suitable bed for resting.


End file.
